You ever get that feeling when you feel a lil on edge, but not quite enough, and think "I could really do with a solid jolt of News right now"? Just 100 volts of the good shit. What are the Tories up to now? Zzzt! They're privatising what? Zzzzt! Gerrymandering who? Zzzztt!
Ah. It's great. Really gets the heart pumping. Gets you snapping at your friends and family. Gets you comfort eating. Comfort staring at yourself in the mirror. Comfort trying to formulate a barnstormer House of Commons speech that will singlehandedly bring about the collapse of the Tory machine and the class system with it, heralding in a new age of fairness and public service founded on the principles of the post-War consensus but going so much further, lifting all boats higher on a sea of justice and equality--zzzztttt
Tories to turn London Assembly into giant festival of farts. Robert Jenrick to specifically "call in" your bed and toss it into the street.
It's weird thinking about these actions and feeing that they affect you and you alone. It certainly feels like it because somewhere, somehow, other people (who are apparently unaffected by these things despite participating in the same economy that is being ravaged by them) continue to vote for them. I read about the latest dent to our world-beating broadcast sector (we only care about world-beating when it's stuff we don't have, or no longer, or will never have. Stuff we currently have? Bullshit, for bullshit people) due to the comical mishandling of EU negotiations by active pensioner and whisky fan Lord Frost and I feel like I am the only person who works in it.
But I'm not. All over the country, millions of other people all getting these jolts.
Zzztt
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